MW2: What Really Happened
by LP Armstrong
Summary: My First Fic. Basically a parody of MW2. Content includes some use of strong language such as the F-Word and some unexplicit violence .Not Chronological
1. Chapter 1

**ENDGAME**

**"FOR CHRIST SAKE IT'S NOT STUCK IN THAT DEEP!" Mactavish screamed as he tried in what looked to be a fruitless effort to yank what seemed to be the combat knife version of Poseidon's Trident glazed in super glue from his chest Cavity.**

"IT. IS. JUST. A, KNIFE!" Mactavish shouted aggressively (which shouldn't be possible considering he has the militerised version of the fucking sword of Isildur protruding from his chest) and with one final pull released the pointy hazard from his body. Mactavish proceeded to twirl the knife into a throwing position in a way which would be physically impossible to do without slicing the top of his fingertips off.

"OI SHEPARD!" Mactavish roared, catching the attention of the old General who was before Mactavish's interruption beating the mustache of Captain Price's face. His eyes widened in shock and fear as he saw the Scottish pincushion rear his hand back to flick the knife into the Americans face. "CATCH!" Mactavish gasped out as he threw the knife at Shepherd. Then with the reflex that only a fucking ninja should have let alone a goddamn U.S General who's over the pension requirement age, caught the knife between his index finger and his middle finger. An awkward silence fell over the combatants. A silence that was broken by Captain Price rasping out.."Well soap, you DID tell him to catch it."

Using Price's distraction to his advantage, Shepherd rammed the knife into his skull killing him instantly and with another show of Shepherds Shinobi power, threw the knife into Mactavish's eye, silencing the Christopher Eccleston sound-alike forever.

Shepherd slowly got up and dusted himself of and looked at the corpse of the former task force 141 commander and shook his head... " Why did I promote him again?" Shepherd pondered as he walked of looking for evac...


	2. Favela

Mactavish leaned against a wall for a few seconds and gasped for breath, he knew that in task force 141 both his physical and tactical abilities would be put to the test..

He just didn't expect to be in a mission to chase after the Brazilian bastard son of Spiderman and the Prince Of Persia.

But Jesus Christ that's what he and his team has been doing for the past 30 minutes!

Mactavish knew the plan was going to hell when Alejandro Rojas's assistance decided to go Tom Cruise Collateral on two unsuspecting militia gang members and our driver codenamed...the driver.

Fortunately the assistant didn't share the same parkour abilities as his superior and they managed to capture him with not that much hassle and Ghost, ever creative with car batteries manage to quickly force Rojas's location out of him.

Mactavish then decided to split into two teams, he and ghost would search one side of the favela while Roach, Meat and Royce would search the other. It seemed like it would go smoothly but then fucking Zeus threw a wrench shaped lightning bolt to seriously mess up his plans in the form of the two corpses of Meat and Royce

On an upside Roach survived the ambush and now with the coordinated efforts of the elite soldiers managed to trap Rojas to a singular detached building with no militia intervention. Ghost and Roach were on the ground looking up at Rojas who was slowly creeping along the ledge outside the tall building.

"HE'S GONNA GET AWAY!" Ghost shouted in frustration. All this damn fighting and running in this god forsaken Favela and Rojas escapes!

"No he's not!" Mactavish announced with confidence.

Rojas had a sudden feeling that he was about to get hit in his blindside, in his line of work you had to always watch your back both literally and physically and sure enough as he jerked his head around to look through the glass window he saw one of these "elite" soldiers, presumably their leader rushing towards him!

Shaking of his brief state of shock Rojas let go of both hands and using his feet gained a stable foothold and let his body fall back and hang over the ledge just as the burly British-man launched himself through the window.

Unfortunately for Mactavish he already picked up too much momentum and plummeted out of the window missing Rojas.

"SHIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!""

Ghost and Roach could only winced as their superior officer crashed through the car parked below.

The duo rushed towards their fallen Captain and by some miracle saw that although with a few hundred broken bones, hadn't been injured anywhere deadly such as his neck.

"Rojas escaped.. Meat, Royce and Driver dead...Captain inured.. it can't possibly get any worse." Ghost muttered

"Mactavish? This is Shepherd. The Evac is unable to pick you at your position over."

...

" SON OF A BITCH!"

AUTHORS NOTE

Yeah all my MW2 parodies will all be in one fanfic. Two points to make here.

1. I wont always cater to the villains and cast misfortune over our dear elite forces.

2. I had a valid point but I just forgot it. Why am i still typing then?


End file.
